Interlude: Advent Meditation 1 (Chore-deal Log will resume...)

A Quiet Morning

~ Season of Advent ~

Themes:

Longing

“how many of us share the longing of the ancient prophets who awaited the Messiah with such aching intensity that they foresaw his arrival thousands of years before he was born?

What am I longing for at this time?

Do I long for anything?  Is it Christ – who is my Life? Or am is so full of plans, thoughts and ….stuff…even pain, that my capacity to long for Christ is squelched? And i live like the walking dead…going through the motions and resenting, ranting, griping when things don’t go my way?

Do i  dare long for anything? Have i given up hope for change, newness, transformation because it seems i have waited so long?

GOD show me what is going on deep within me. YOU alone see truly, fully and with full love..

Welcome

“can we welcome and fully receive what Jesus and what he brings if we our hands clasp so tightly to so much?”

What am I holding on to?

Amazing how such small hands can hold so much: the past (glories and regrets), the offence, the fears, anger…ambitions…questions, doubts..

Did i not ask to hold Your hand? Where is it? why am i not holding on to it – fast and tight? When did i let go….was it because i was..

Distracted

Distressed

Disappointed

..and i let go, and began to fill my hands with all these other things?

GOD, pry my grip open. I don’t even know totally what i am able to let go. But i need Your hand that never lets go. I release my grasp.

You have laid your hand upon me (Psa 139v5).

Readiness for action

“Advent is expectancy…. and also readiness for action: watching for God to open a way and being willing to step in, risking everything… for a new beginning…”

Will I follow when He shows the way?

O GOD, i can sense You are at work. There are invitations. The wind of the Spirit blows..but i am so slow to rise and follow. Still so occupied to really notice. Shadows of my past lurk around… saying i can never be fully free, reminding me harshly of failed attempts..accusing me of pride, discontent – all working to force me to retain the status quo. Give me courage to believe, to see, to trust, and to follow.

Lead me on level ground (Psalm 143v10)

CHORE-deal Day 3

"Instant Lagsana"..and then as i read on, it said "..bake for 45 mins"!. Drats! Dinner will be late and I have an appointment too...
So far, we haven't really had one of my afore-thought-through so very carefully, well-planned days.
Today, the kids who slept in the living room sofa bed and struggled to wake up..brother had a feverish feel.
We were meant to go for appointments so some quick decisions were required; which also included: can he eat his butter toast or would he prefer oats (which of course sets in motion a different set of chores ie. wash one more pot!). Thankfully, no, not really he says...
With the strong sun, i quickly sun his pillow and blankie (sun kills germs said my mom) and put the towels to wash. i was glad i woke earlier and most of the floor was already cleaned. Sister was set to clean her room with the Magic clean floor dry wiper. She was impressed with the dirt she picked up! [dont we all adore results!].

With brother unwell, my position on the superior value of home-cooked meals was sealed. O great, i have some stew left..macroni soup is always easy when you've got something to stew it in. Yum.

Most of post-lunch, i was in a meeting; but work from home meant knocks on the door...
"mom, sis is not sharing the book she bought"
"mom, can we watch TV?"
"mom, how long will you take?"

as well as me zipping out,
"sis, quick fold these clothes [imminent rain]"
"little brother, are you drinking?"
"hey, who is responsible for this mess?"

Then came the lagsana saga. Dinner was forty minutes late, but no one minded coz' they were all playing Wii....until I said, "Dad, can you help me with the floor cloths later?", "Who is setting the table?" ...and after dinner,
"O no! which sponge did you use for the dishes dear?!"

The house stands. My back is upright. There was some fray in motivation -- but we are doing ok!

The CHORE-deal Log

Day TWO.
Abi is still complaining about how many chores she has compared to her five+year younger than her brother. But she moves it swiftly when told and true to her early childhood training does a decent job (trainer mom takes a bow).

Dad who self assigned dishes hit them with enthusiasm, washing up when breakfast wasn't over! Guess he had to leave already...

Mom has taken a deep breath and postponed the sweeping, opting for laundry (to catch the sun) and fixing lunch...after clearing the other half of breakfast of course.

Lil Keith left after breakfast to an unwelcome Chinese enrichment camp..and we have to wait and see where that leads him emotionally!


What is the value of manual work to you?

"The LORD GOd took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."

So, it isn't exactly Paradise Lost when we need to wash, wipe, scrub, fix and ... *wink

Grace tracks

GRACE, God tracks us who once sought Him.
This past week, what i have believed, written and taught came over me again - - and Grace works like strong relentless waves, crashing up upon the shore until it is clean. Lapping at the edges of faith until fresh sand, sea glass, seaweed contours...

I stood powerless, I who once fought and worked hard for my vision of the glorious...too tired to want to try anymore. If God only showed up when I was depleted, it would seem cruel. But no, i know He has constantly been around. i have a record of the wind blowing...but i really did prefer my way, my time, my outcomes...and so i had to fight till i tire.

And then, Grace still came around.

i want to take some credit: all the hours of trying, praying, buckets of tears...
does it matter? In the mystery of love and time, Grace gathered everything and mixed them into a healing potion. Will i drink this cup?
i sip tentatively... strength, hope, even warmth returns...

now i must note Grace's tracks and keep walking in the path set out..