My One Word for the year

Yes. In one word.
What do you think your 2014 will be about?

I want to invite you to try this. It is fascinating experience. It is a dare, a dream, a desire and a desperate grasp for life. For we are trying to live well, be brave, be enough for the task, and rise above the swelling tides. One word for our life of such ebb and flow, turbulence, trials, and trails!

"What is your one word"? the fellow sister wrote in her blog. I was drawn in immediately. One word for what? I can never say anything with one word {although 'persnickety' works very well with the children}.
The writing me immediately began to lose touch with daily reality and I began to experience all the fits and spasms that come with such an activity!

How can one word describe my year? 
Will it be a prescriptive, prophetic, hopeful word?
Should it be a colour, an outcome, an object or a verb?
If a word came to my mind, dare I accept it?
What if I picked the wrong word and lived my year all wrong?

Normal panic you would say, that comes with any choices with some weighty consequence.

Of course, the word is meant to surface out of a conversation with God. 

So a few words came forward to present themselves - all really shades of me wanting to be top dog. The up side of me wanted Glorious, the darker side hissed Needing, and the Thesaurus that sits next to me begged to have its guts examined.
I told God all the words that came when I walked, wrote, dreamt...and then - a word came and I just knew it did not originate from me. It made sense, of course, it does, but I wouldn't have quite seen it.

So my word this year is RENEW. Nothing fancy. Sort of disappointed in the way of words, one may say. It's so simple. Just two syllables, almost flat where the energy department is concerned. Like, renew one's passport, an administrative process...

But, I think the One Word is
an invitation,
an anticipation - and therefore it helps me look out for God's handiwork in my little life.

So I am going to have to trust that what feels old, tired may get a fresh zest.
So I am going to beware the areas where I tend to lose hope.
So I am going to expect and pray and work new-ness.
So I am going to return to some old solid stuff I have neglected for it's going to be revived.

My word for 2014 is RENEW. What is yours?

Here are some examples ~

Try it!

What will be NEW for you this year?

As the first day of January washed up the shores of my soul, I wrote on the board in my home, "What will be NEW for you?". Those words are still there. They remind me not to go back to the same, the old, the habitual, the knee-jerk -- not when Vision, Imagination and Longing are drawing me towards growth, difference, fresh, and possibility.

 I talked to my family - I remind us about Christmas just past; that it was Good News because Jesus had come to make all things new. We knew in our hearts the ways that hurt, that drained joy, that robbed peace from our home. We must reject old ways that have hurt us and look forward in faith, and act in accordance to the newness Jesus wants to give us.

We don't want to talk, think, or act the same. I dream of peaceable words, tender attention, patient bearing with each other...that in our daily life of believing in the New, we are being changed to bring the New to our world.

What about you?

I know it can be scary to dream. I know what disappointment tastes like. I know what defeat feels like and how it loves to linger around and turn everything stale and colourless. But, your heart and mine - are hearts held by God and fashioned by Him, are hearts meant to beat with hope, are hearts that can be be set aflame. Indeed, we need to have confidence that as God loves us and gives us His Spirit, many of what we desire are good things and ought to be in our lives, even if they are not yet! {see Psalm 37v4}

Often, God uses one of his many promises to trigger a sense of possibility. Such as ~

And he will be the stability of your times,
a wealth of salvation, wisdom and knowledge;
the fear of the LORD is his treasure. {Isaiah 33v6}

I long for stability! This verse draws me. It turns within my belly and I see the truth of it: i need to treasure, value, prioritise, honour God in my moments & movements.

Which of the many promises of God is tugging at your heart these days? {please do share with us in the comments!}


God's Word is always an invitation to an adventure of trust. 

I am learning again to take His Word - first, seriously, totally -

I have found that --
when you give the Word the place its rightful place, it anchors down and I can distinguish better; and swat away the lesser words, and, the lies.

the Word is milk and meat and when I am fed, I am less susceptible to feed myself cheap substitutes.

the Word is God-breathed; and each time I read, savour, meditate, fresh life-giving breath enters my being.

I am sure God will pepper 2014 with many specific promises and remind me of many I need to recall. But in His goodness, he began me with a familiar Psalm {yes, i have read it as part of my Psalm trek }, but it was so sweet to read it slow, write it and ask for eyes to notice what I must !

Go seek your promise(s)! There will be NEW this year!

I want to dream on...

I have always been a dreamer.
When I was in Primary four, and the teacher had called my name several times and failed to get my attention, she said to the whole class, "Yim Tee is a dreamer". Then she promptly shifted me to the back of the class to be left to my dreaming!

I grew up harboring many dreams in my heart. Some of it was plain necessary as we were poor and i was one of a large brood. I dreamt of running away from home to a different life where there will be toys, a pony and good food... to a place like Sesame Street where people smiled kindly and large puppets, funny and grouchy were your neighbours.

I dreamt of becoming somebody important, like a doctor who saves lives. A singer who is clothed in glamour. At times, i trimmed my dreams to fit my circumstances. Perhaps i could be satisfied with selling roast meat rice, being an air-stewardess, or just getting married ...to someone richer.

But when I was eight, I said a prayer to ask Jesus to be my best friend. Since then, another heart seemed to beat within my bosom. By the time, I had listened to my Sunday school teacher teach us about God's great big world and the perishing millions; a new dream begin to unfold within me. I was going to serve God.

Perhaps due to my humble circumstances, I never really harboured grandiose ideas though I had asked for millions to rid the world of some of its poverty. {did not get it}.

Now nearly forty years on - God's dream for me remains still a few steps beyond me. It's a reaching-for-it that seems to matter to God. There were times when doubts crashed over me and threatened to keep me submerged in the mighty waters of fear, regret and anxiety.

I have had many long months of crying over losses, wondering over what-ifs, angry, frustrated, and just plain frightened. Yet, God holds me still. I have seen my smaller dreams come true as He continues to deftly cut off, fold and shape my heart and my circumstances. I have been sustained and even felt celebrated as God's gifts and goodness continues to enter my life.

I have become a pastor out of obedience and found such deep joy it was like coming home. I am a stay-home-mom out of my convictions and have discovered possibly my favourite job in the world. I have faced my many pains as a woman and suprised myself that God's healing grace in me reaches out to other women. I have followed my husband and moved churches and gained such precious friends along the way. I have written books and now have a longing to fill my bog with biblical insights to teach and reach.

I am still reaching-for. My dream is nothing less than to know God, live His Kingdom out loud and build a movement that will shake up the world! It's way too crazy-big and beyond me and I have come to realize that it isn't up to me to see it comes to pass even though each day i need to work hard at what comes and prayerfully try to anticipate what's around the bend.

Most days, I find huge gaping holes in my motive, action and mood! But Grace has constantly held me together and I have learnt there is a bubbling little brook of Joy that refreshes me though the days can get dreary, discouraging and even downright dark.

In a way, God-sized dreams are precisely that: God-sized!  I'm a really tiny person but the Spirit of God lives in me so I guess there's a way it shall all come together.

DOUBT - the good, the bad, the ugly

This is meant for all of us who struggle with doubts. About God. About where our life is headed, who is really in-charge, whether we are really making a difference...

Doubts are here to stay because we have a mind that loves connections. Our brain is made of millions of tiny neurons (hence neurotic) and they love to reach across and go zap!
Doubts are here to stay because we love closure and hence a sense of completion or control - but so much of life goes on and on. Our faith is jumpy at times, our work issues keep coming, our children never 'finally grow up', our finances are never enough (hmmmm..why)...
Doubts are here to stay because we cannot see, touch and struggle to hear God (is it really Him?).

In fact, today, i got this download about doubts and i so here it is. Doubts come from 3 places and thus they can be good, bad, or ugly.

Distant Doubts
are the bad doubts that arise because we have some unfinished business within our hearts. These are the doubts that trip us, stall us and slow us. We wonder if we are on the right track. We get nervous, agitated, often we may blame others.

John the Baptist when he was in prison had a moment of such doubts. He knew he was going to die. But he also knew his life was about preparing the people to meet the Saviour. He would only have succeeded if the Saviour had come. Jesus was his cousin. Could he really be the One?
So from prison, he sends word to Jesus, "are you the one?".
John was wise to voice his doubt. Jesus gave him the answer: the evidence is everywhere John, you don't have to doubt!

Martha had doubts too about Jesus. Is he balanced and does he really care? Her agenda for hospitality was so very important to her; but from her words, i feels like she has not yet embraced it as a gift. It was more the 'right thing to do'. No wonder, she got fed up with her sister who sat around not helping her out!
Martha voiced her doubt with no small tinge of frustration. Her famous line was actually an accusation, "Don't you care Jesus that Mary has left all the work to me?"  Most of us have said this before! We ask God why he seems not to notice our challenges. At heart we have not accepted that they are a part of God's plan for our lives. We want them 'zapped' and fixed -our way -and soon please.

Both John and Martha could have lost faith, given up, wallowed in the mire of doubt. Thankfully, they lifted their doubts to God and received their answers and were set right.

Denomic Doubts
are direct lies and ideas planted into our hearts and minds by our enemy.  They typically lead to a unhealthy self-focus with a sense of dread, condemnation and fear. It can be an accusation that makes us run away from God because we doubt we will be accepted. It can be rabbit trails of distraction from simple faith that come masked as questions.

These doubts tend to make us grow cold, insensitive to truth and entrenched in a posture of faithlessness. Often it comes with the need to have human approval.

The Pharisees were unaware that they had been letting these doubts of God enter their hearts for years. In their bid to provide spiritual leadership, they had become cold, calculative and even heartless.

As i think about it, i empathize somewhat with them. God's silence over the years cannot be an easy thing. It is not easy to keep faith and provide leadership when your people - God's chosen - are the world's frozen; trampled by the Romans.

They needed to know a deeper dependence upon God but because their heart's inclination was to grasp power and influence and prosper on the backs of the people; they ended up coming under the rule of the enemy. Jesus revealed their true state when he says they serve their father the devil.

But - there are surprises. Nicodemus was one of these leaders. But he stands apart from them for he did not let his doubts sink such deep roots because he had a desire for truth. We may tease him for his clandestine night-time visit to Jesus, but at least he took his questions to God; and of course, he received his answers {not without some serious soul search on his part!}

Divinely grace-d doubts
happen when we take our questions to God. Eventually, we realise like Job that it is not God who accounts to us; but the other way around. God holds us and begins to ask us deeper questions. He helps us sort through the labyrinth of worry, anxiety, fear, contradictions. He pegs our thoughts down with His Word and we see a tent spread unfold and take shape that becomes a shelter for us and others in the storm.
God wants to strengthen our faith and convictions. God brings us to a place of worship and surrender. God renews our faith.

Don't be afraid of those doubts and questions. They will come. But take them to God. Check them carefully to see where they have come from. Reject the lies. (Did God really say..?) by getting familiar with the truth (God's promises and principles). Spend much time journaling and talking with God. And - listen, learn to listen. The muddied water will settle in time and you will see what you need to. Then get up and follow in faith!

A strong cord of Joy to string your days

You know those famous words of old man Nehemiah -
"the joy of the LORD is your strength"

Most of the times I have heard it referred to, i get a vague sense that joy is related to strength and i feel strong for precisely two minutes because I have a way of leaking joy and losing strength.

So i decide to check. Are we mis-using Scripture? Are we missing some gem? If there's a way to be strong in my days, i sure want it.

i thought-prayed. i read. i asked.

A 3-part scrutiny:  Joy / Joy of the LORD / Strength



Joy is a God attribute. It does not originate from earth. The word is distinct from 'pleasure' which is the proper word for when we see, feel, taste or experience something temporal that brings a smile and a sense of satisfaction. Pleasure however is a glimpse of joy. Psalm 16 famously tells us that joy in its fullness is found in one place, or rather one Person: God Himself.

God is Joy, not kill-joy! {what an awful distortion and lie}

Christians, who are God's children, will over time mature in joy. It is the Father's character and being flowering in his children's lives.

God is Joy. God is also joyful - over certain things. Jesus mentioned the wild vive joie  of the father who hikes up his coat and runs to welcome his prodigal's return. The entire mood of the coming of the Saviour is one of great joy - God is excited about His Son coming to earth to save us. God is joyous about what he is up to and He invites us to share His joy!

We find joy and grow joyful as we relate to our Father God. Day by day, he infuses more of Himself into our being.

We find joy as we take upon our hearts what is upon His. If we take up His cause and join in His plan. Old man Nehemiah's words in fact come from this take. The people were listening to the Law and beginning to look at their failures and feel sorry and sad. But to God, his people's hard labour of rebuilding the wall, their coming together to hear the Law, the turning of their hearts God-ward is all joy! So they are to take their eyes off themselves and share in God's joy over them!

Each time you en-joy life's gifts, remember it is a doorway to the God who is joy and who invites you to join in His joy over life.

EN(ter) into JOY.

This is how Joy becomes a strong cord and holds you together, keeps you strong through the storms in the coming days.

Why Home-sickness is a good place to begin your 2014

Happy New Year!

How will you be travelling this year? There are four modes of moving along:

a/ well-planned to the hilt
you already have your goals and plans, a list of things to do by the end of January. Some more seasoned travelers by this mode would even have included safety precautions and back-up plans.

b/ tumbling or drifting
you basically dislike to plan. after all, things don't necessarily go your way (before or ever); so going with the flow is just easier: no fuss, no fight, no fire (to put out).

c/ pushed onward
there are strong forces within you that propel you or there are expectations you know you need to live up to.

d/ hanging on to a string of reactions
you may have goals and aspirations; but in reality, your travel style is to wait-and-see how things turn. You can get red-hot mad or walk away, depending on how you feel you are being treated.

Most of us will be using some combination of these four. But there is a fifth way. It is the way of God's Grace. This way sits at the bottom of all other ways, it also holds and weaves through the other modes of travel. For most of us, most of the time though, we are only vaguely aware of this ever-present Grace.
Why not live aware and upon this Grace so that each time we sing 'Amazing Grace', it is a distinct sense of awe with specific recollections and not vague ideas about how Amazing Grace truly is!

The way of God's Grace is to live tethered to God and His homeward call to us. It is living with a sense of homesickness.

I am rather a person on the move, relishing new experiences and challenges. But whether I am out for the day or away for weeks, a special feeling surges up in my soul as i turn homeward. It feels like a homesickness. I have missed home and hearth. I have missed the safe, familiar, comfortable, 'my place' sense.

It is the well-rooted tree that can spread its branches wide out and continue to bear fruit without over-stretching or toppling over.

Where is home for you? A small spot of ground or a huge house isn't what matters. It is where your heart rests that is home.

God is our home - for those of us who are His children because we believe that Jesus Christ died for our sins and want to live for Him. We go home to God often and dare not run wild and distracted that we cannot find our way home to rest and be restored.

Kingdom is our home - for those of us who are God's new people, called to build a different way of living; we find home when we are among those who share this same dream of a peaceable Kingdom in our broken-up world.

I get homesick a lot like when -
I've been waddling in shallows making waves when I can say 'see ya later' to everything and everyone and go out to the deep and float free.

I am fussing over the stuff that doesn't really count or last and then a ray of Kingdom light and eternity shines across my shoulder and I need to turn my eyes to see.

I am busy counting my small pile of gold coins of 'have', 'need', 'want more of', and forget that's just pavement where I am headed - it's the wrong currency to trade in

I see a picture of grim need, an old wrinkled face, a broken-hearted parent whose child was here a moment before that shrapnel came whizzing past

I need to feel this homesickness. You do too. For in the end, we are pilgrims, travelers, aliens, a-passing-through. And it is this homesickness - our desperate need for God, our deep convictions of a different world, that will help us travel by the mode of Grace.

As we beat our own path to God-home and soak in Grace, our hearts and minds expanding with Him.
As we work out our salvation by living as saved ones, building a different world, and know it will never happen apart from Grace-miracles where our pockets, priorities and perspectives shifting from sand to rock.

So yes, Home-sickness is a good place to begin your 2014.


Happy NEW year friends!