adivsory: this post has fun cat pictures for illustrative purposes
Let's just say if you have a bad habit like forgetfully picking your nose in public; you will surely live. On the other hand, if you have a bad habit inside your head, it gets more complicated (especially if yours is a woman's head). A bad head habit is a thought pattern and way of interpretation that is faulty. This has massive implications.
If you tend to think people are out to get something from you; imagine how you would respond to a spontaneous gift from me?
Our head habits, those regular thought patterns are like train tracks. We have train tracks just for God; and I have found that it is basically about God being far / unreachable / out to get us, and that this track runs parallel to another one about self: I am not good enough.
Guess what? I have a very serious hunch that for most of us those are the exact train tracks that run inside our heads of all sizes. And the train goes clackety-clack on those tracks so that no matter what we hear taught, preached, sung... it ends up as another carriage on this track.
How do we get off track, or on the right track?
The answer is Revelation. /an enlightening or astonishing disclosure / {Meriam webster online}
Revelatory insight makes you bright, turns on the light and brings a smile to your face.
Like when you discover that God doesn't love you because He cannot help it since He is Love; and that not just that, He actually likes you.
I remember that afternoon well. We were dating so I was visiting and hanging around. The house was quiet and in the high of new-love, I was shaken by this Q: does God like me? I am not sure where the Q came from; but nearly twenty-nine, I wasn't head-over-heels in love as much as waxing and waning over my fierce emotions and equally strong resistance to this whole 'we're going to get married thing'. We were old enough and free enough to have gotten on each other's nerves too many times to count. So perhaps, I was disliking myself a tad.
The answer, the revelation came a couple of years later. Sure that afternoon, my mind put 2+2 together: God is all integrity, and we cannot use human measures for him; I comforted myself that He did like me. But I did slip in, "tell me God".
So another afternoon, I was sitting, no, I was crumpled, at the piano, trying to tinker some noise of praise out as my heart was filled with sorrow, anger and remorse (it's amazing how many things one can feel at once)... when I 'heard' "Jenni, I enjoy you". God caught me right at that tip of the train track as my trains were leaving. It was almost as if He interrupted me because just as those words came, they overlaid my own words, "I don't enjoy myself".
I'm the poorer judge, and too weak to argue. So the words slipped right into me and found the empty space and lodged there. God likes me!
There are days when I am grossly dissatisfied with myself. Et tu? Like when I am hazy, lazy, and yes, plain crazy! Like when I knew I should have but didn't. Like when I slip into my ennui. I am glad to report to my fellow women that I am on the downhill side of that dreaded the PMS mountain. But my inconsistencies, contradictions, comedy of errors are all wrapped up in a Love that likes -
/ to feel attraction toward or take pleasure in /
God is drawn to me and when I sit with Him, He smiles. He's glad I made the time and created a special space. Maybe he pats my head. Often I find a light breeze or a tune - both balms for this tropical heat. This may sound weird; sometimes I make up jokes for God!
This morning I was going to write a funny piece on Twitterverse.
I was going to group twitters by birds and have a bit of fun with my observations ...then I felt Someone laughing with me. As I brushed my teeth, I realised I wanted you to know this: God loves you, and he likes you!
Not some future version of you, all cleaned up and improved.Certainly, God is not like us and i do believe that when he sees us, he sees all of us; past-present-future. Yes, there are people He does dislike too - those described in the Bible who are not Godward; the evil.
We separate Love and Like. It's easy to like (just click) than love. Not really. Very few of us genuinely like anyone else. We find way too many things to complain about them. It's easy to. I remember as a teen thinking, "I don't have to like anyone. I just have to love them". OK -- it is jolly hard to love anyone without liking them at least a bit!
Perhaps this is a false divide, another faulty train track. How do you love someone - who is a composition of his traits, habits, personality and values, while disliking them? So my conclusion of the matter is this: I will stop pretending. I don't really love/like anyone. I even struggle to love/like me. And in my abject poverty, the emptied out space, when the train switch is off and the clackety is stilled - revelation comes and finds a home:
and if i may add: we like because he first liked us.
If I haven't met you yet, I am sure I will like you a tad when we do meet. Meanwhile, be brave, get to a scratching post and let all your angst out, Claw away till you have sloughed off some and feel space opening up for your moment of revelation.
Q: What other revelations (that overturning of train tracks) have you experienced?
Let's just say if you have a bad habit like forgetfully picking your nose in public; you will surely live. On the other hand, if you have a bad habit inside your head, it gets more complicated (especially if yours is a woman's head). A bad head habit is a thought pattern and way of interpretation that is faulty. This has massive implications.
If you tend to think people are out to get something from you; imagine how you would respond to a spontaneous gift from me?
Our head habits, those regular thought patterns are like train tracks. We have train tracks just for God; and I have found that it is basically about God being far / unreachable / out to get us, and that this track runs parallel to another one about self: I am not good enough.
Guess what? I have a very serious hunch that for most of us those are the exact train tracks that run inside our heads of all sizes. And the train goes clackety-clack on those tracks so that no matter what we hear taught, preached, sung... it ends up as another carriage on this track.
How do we get off track, or on the right track?
The answer is Revelation. /an enlightening or astonishing disclosure / {Meriam webster online}
Revelatory insight makes you bright, turns on the light and brings a smile to your face.
Like when you discover that God doesn't love you because He cannot help it since He is Love; and that not just that, He actually likes you.
I remember that afternoon well. We were dating so I was visiting and hanging around. The house was quiet and in the high of new-love, I was shaken by this Q: does God like me? I am not sure where the Q came from; but nearly twenty-nine, I wasn't head-over-heels in love as much as waxing and waning over my fierce emotions and equally strong resistance to this whole 'we're going to get married thing'. We were old enough and free enough to have gotten on each other's nerves too many times to count. So perhaps, I was disliking myself a tad.
The answer, the revelation came a couple of years later. Sure that afternoon, my mind put 2+2 together: God is all integrity, and we cannot use human measures for him; I comforted myself that He did like me. But I did slip in, "tell me God".
So another afternoon, I was sitting, no, I was crumpled, at the piano, trying to tinker some noise of praise out as my heart was filled with sorrow, anger and remorse (it's amazing how many things one can feel at once)... when I 'heard' "Jenni, I enjoy you". God caught me right at that tip of the train track as my trains were leaving. It was almost as if He interrupted me because just as those words came, they overlaid my own words, "I don't enjoy myself".
I'm the poorer judge, and too weak to argue. So the words slipped right into me and found the empty space and lodged there. God likes me!
There are days when I am grossly dissatisfied with myself. Et tu? Like when I am hazy, lazy, and yes, plain crazy! Like when I knew I should have but didn't. Like when I slip into my ennui. I am glad to report to my fellow women that I am on the downhill side of that dreaded the PMS mountain. But my inconsistencies, contradictions, comedy of errors are all wrapped up in a Love that likes -
/ to feel attraction toward or take pleasure in /
God is drawn to me and when I sit with Him, He smiles. He's glad I made the time and created a special space. Maybe he pats my head. Often I find a light breeze or a tune - both balms for this tropical heat. This may sound weird; sometimes I make up jokes for God!
This morning I was going to write a funny piece on Twitterverse.
I was going to group twitters by birds and have a bit of fun with my observations ...then I felt Someone laughing with me. As I brushed my teeth, I realised I wanted you to know this: God loves you, and he likes you!
Not some future version of you, all cleaned up and improved.Certainly, God is not like us and i do believe that when he sees us, he sees all of us; past-present-future. Yes, there are people He does dislike too - those described in the Bible who are not Godward; the evil.
We separate Love and Like. It's easy to like (just click) than love. Not really. Very few of us genuinely like anyone else. We find way too many things to complain about them. It's easy to. I remember as a teen thinking, "I don't have to like anyone. I just have to love them". OK -- it is jolly hard to love anyone without liking them at least a bit!
Perhaps this is a false divide, another faulty train track. How do you love someone - who is a composition of his traits, habits, personality and values, while disliking them? So my conclusion of the matter is this: I will stop pretending. I don't really love/like anyone. I even struggle to love/like me. And in my abject poverty, the emptied out space, when the train switch is off and the clackety is stilled - revelation comes and finds a home:
we love because He first loved us ~ 1 John 4v19 NIV
and if i may add: we like because he first liked us.
If I haven't met you yet, I am sure I will like you a tad when we do meet. Meanwhile, be brave, get to a scratching post and let all your angst out, Claw away till you have sloughed off some and feel space opening up for your moment of revelation.
Q: What other revelations (that overturning of train tracks) have you experienced?
our benediction each sunday is zephaniah 3:17 (ESV is) isn't it delightful?
ReplyDeleteThe Lord your God is in the midst of you,
He is mighty to save;
He will rejoice over you with gladness;
He will quiet you with his love;
He will rejoice over you with singing.
sounds like He likes us...always hard for me to believe!
What a lovely benediction Martha! It's tough in our mixed-up world we have so lost sight of Love...may this benediction restore a right and grand vision of God and His boundless Love...and o yes, He likes you Martha!
Delete