Fearlessness is faith unleashed.
Mothering ignites faith.
You have to believe.
That breastmilk is best and so time, pump, feed, store (Olympic athelete Montana pumps, stores and ships her milk across the globe!).
That your child is unique and worth protecting, nourishing, nurturing.
That sacrifices are a holy exchange of life when you lose sleep and develop a whole new lifestyle so that a new life can be birthed and raised.
That while the system is good, it isn’t perfect and you have to many times, stand up for your child.
That your words, hugs, look of love, meals, stories, prayers make a difference.
And faith unleashed, makes you a fearless warrior, fighting for what truly matters: life.
Any good warrior tells you there are
boring routines
necessary and often painful disciplines to gain muscle and develop strength
sacrifices of comfort and ease
the need to develop a mindset and a tough heart
because there is a battle worth fighting for.
And the warrior is made, not born. He began as a recruit, a legionary, a simple soldier reporting for duty.
There are many ways to see and do life.
The most common is to go with the flow.
You move from one stage of life to the next, because you are ‘old enough’, ‘it’s time’, ‘expectations and body clocks kick in… This does not mean you don’t plan. In fact, you plan quite well, from thinking through options, weighing pros and cons, consulting others, doing the Math and so on… The question is whether these ways are life-giving ways, wise ways, enduring ways.
Another way to go with the flow is takes a ‘come what may’ approach and hate to plan, it’s a moment-by-moment flow. This is highly popular with the younger set, who eventually give to the need to forecast and therefore to endure the dread of discipline grudgingly.
Following the flow isn’t morally wrong, but it is easily driven by FOMO (fear of missing out) and by sheer fear (of change and taking ownership). It is easy to see how one can drift or become indistinguishable from the crowd.
This is the soldiering part of life.
At some point, life presents you with the opportunity to become a warrior.
You choose battles
You train
You fight
You win and you lose
Along the way, faith is built and fear is banished.
This is God's design, where he invites us to give up what we hold so tightly on to, and trust him for something better. Perhaps our success-to-date, our comfortable lifestyles, our well-planned ideals... which wrap within them a whole lot of fears and anxieties, aspirations and disappointments. We grasp on afraid to let go...
But if we only will!
The journey of leaning into a new journey, unfamiliar experiences, stuff we don't think we can do... that how we get to feel in our bones and our sinews the deep truth that even if our battles are similar or related, each of us is a unique individual with a destiny.
A journey that requires maturation - a dedicated process that works.
The guys have their journey from motley solider to unique warrior.
For women, mothering is the unique journey.
As I have yielded my body to God’s wondrous design to host life. As I have let my heart soften to the coos and cries of my child. As I have given up sleep, entertainment, a whole familiar and comfortable way of life. As I have made choice after choice to be the adult, grow myself and be at my best for my child(ren).... I have done the equivalent of digging trenches, countless marches, sweat-soaked training, even arming myself. (and hence we have asked a Minister once to pay SAHMs coz it's like national service).
The trench of going over the same thing, feeding, diaper changing, repeating that story for a hundredth time… these repetitive acts dig a trench of safety for us to huddle in.
The march back and forth to soothe and quieten, fetch another drink, patiently guide unsteady hands to pick up another toy.
The days when there is hardly time to get a proper shower (and thankfully bub never ever minds it) much less have a slow go at the throne.
Picking up my weapons of prayer and intercession….polished to a shine from use.
It’s so common to hear moms say they are surprised by how they can sacrifice, and how they now realise the depth of what their moms went through. But that’s merely scratching the surface.
Motherhood is deep stuff.
God carves capacities in us that cannot come another way.
The capacity of faith lies at the heart of it.
Mothering (and Sp Parenting) is hard. It can be unpredictable. It’s been said there are no guarantees (but that’s most of life anyway). You recognise the limits of control... yet -
If we accept that this is God’s wisdom and lean into it, we can become warriors who are fearless.
We know what it’s like to sleep two hours and still function.
We know our bodies mend and heal.
We know we can think deep and talk simple.
We know we can invent solutions and face crises (from meal planning to stretching the dollar to averting accidents).
We know we can adjudicate, negotiate, persuade, coach.
We know we can serve joyfully.
We know we can appreciate the present moment and find delight in simple things.
We know we can speak up and stand up for what we believe in.
Tell me, is this not maturity, a growing fullness in our humanity, a carpe diem seizing of our lives to make it count, and a confident way to leave a legacy?
I remember a young mom who was abjectly frustrated for her style in life is to plan to the hilt and enjoy the control she had. Mothering shattered this false illusion for her. Hopefully, more than merely soldiering on and hoping things ease up, she dug in and transformed into a warrior!
Soldiers become warriors when they quit pining for life outside the camp, but dig into life in the camp and take the battle seriously.
The ‘wisdom’ of the world is to lie to you that it is all about loss. Sniff out this false narrative quickly. That’s the world’s favourite presentation: you are going to lose out.
And sure, perhaps you may never get that job (or your figure) back.
But is that truly a loss? Really, is your life the work you do and the shape of your body?
The world isn’t operating on God’s agenda, but is reeling from a determined rebellion against God. How can it offer you and I what is truly life-giving and eternal?
God’s ways are going to be inconvenient and counter-cultural in such a world.
Caring for someone else, being generous, ‘wasting’ time going over the same “why?”, not having full control over life (you cannot even control bodily functions of your baby ok) - is how God designed life so that he can delight us with His care, provision, wisdom and strength.
Mothering and all forms of parenting is God’s marvelous design to build life into us as we follow our faith.
When I decided to prioritise my family, I wasn’t able to foresee much of anything. But I knew enough to know that it’s an illusion anyway to think we can shape outcomes so easily. But the true north of this priority unfolded in marvelous ways.
Today I continue in my pastoral calling (although it isn’t a very conventional ‘format’), I have embarked on a writing journey and authored six books. I have had to face up to my many skeletons and heal! Along the way, I have found so many wonderful women soul sisters. Now that my children are more grown, and I am warrior-like, I feel so excited about what faith will unleash next!
This is the other way to live: go with the faith.
What do you really believe in?
