Questions
I live with questions all the time. I suspect you do too. The kind we know cannot really be answered by Google.
These sorts of questions come knocking, and we have to decide if we will open the door and let them in. It’s a real risk because they may look shabby and smell worse. It’s a real hassle because sometimes they come with minors in tow - questions that beget questions.
But until we open the door, pull out a chair, offer a cup, take a seat, and listen, really listen, they never go away.
And by going away, it does not mean new ones won’t arrive. It means that our homestead, our soul has grown larger to accommodate and even enjoy their presence. For in time, we realise that these questions originated from us, and the need to come back home to us, where they are welcomed and integrated into our lives.
***
I woke early today while it was dark. It’s a practice I like to began a little more than a year ago but have had trouble keeping this year. This morning I was very surprised to find how fresh and even happy I felt to be sitting, waiting for the day to arrive.
As we know, each day is packaged by us in time slots and events and do-items. But this scaffold is hardly what the day is really about. It’s the messages, impressions, interactions and questions they pose that really make our day, because these are the things that actually shape us.
Annie Dillard famously said they how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
She is of course referring to what we fill our days with. What goes into the blocks of moments and hours. What preoccupies us and more.
But what is this life we have that we are able to spend? Or expend? What do we lose as we spend it, what do we gain as we expend it?
I stood by the window, focusing on the bird calls to block out all the ubiquitous construction noises (welcome to Singapore - the island that every builds).
***
Like many parents, I struggle with how children adore their devices and spend inordinate amounts of time on it. We have done all the talking, structuring, threatening, rewarding and more… mine are not addicted by any stretch, but there is a pain in my heart to see that it’s such a default mode for them.
I admit that not being a fan of tech (and having severe worries about its effects, having being a student of philosophical positions of Ellul and Muggeridge) did propel towards a offensive-defensive game about it, with me mostly being sent to the bleaches in time out. Yes, it’s hard to win. You end up being the loser parent, who’s stuck in ‘her time’, unreal about things as they presently are… especially when your kids are plugged into a system that forms them for most of their waking hours, which uses tech with little careful thought.
I tried to understand that these are ‘digital natives’. Machine learning is fine. At one time, it’s as if all kinds of craft and trade were enhanced - when the hairdresser or the architect can simulate, calculate, postulate.
But so much is plain mindlessness now.
So this morning, a question bubbled to my consciousness: are we losing entire generations to a soul numbing, mind dulling, relationship-starving way of life?
I realise this is what bothers me about it all.
Life is such a precious gift and we squander it, spend it, expend it so foolishly.
I ask my son, “don’t you want to explore anything? how about build something” go someplace?“
The answer is invariably no.
This is a kid I took to museums, maker faires, baked with, had long conversations, read poetry and made videos with. Where did he go?
Then something else hit me.
The phone and all it promises is way too easy, and our kids are way too tired.
So there is something corroborating here: adults, who build systems.
Don’t you want to hide too?
My son will say I over-psychologise. I can and do. But almost always, I am also on to something. My questions are trying to serve me.
At this point, I wonder then if my children are really media literate? What am I modeling with my use of tech? How else can I build a family culture that really serves the generation entrusted to me? Is there a rallying call here for parents to arise to intercede and take back lost ground? Should we push back and get schools to really examine their methodologies?
It’s a big question. I just made a cup of coffee.
What question is knocking on your door?
notes:
Annie Dillard - American author, famous for her powerful nature prose. Quotable: "A schedule defends from chaos and whim."
Jacques Ellul - French philosopher and aly theologian, Quotable: "The goal of modern propaganda is no longer to transform opinion but to arouse an active and mythical belief."
Malcolm Muggeridge - British journalist and social critic. Quotable: "Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message."
I live with questions all the time. I suspect you do too. The kind we know cannot really be answered by Google.
These sorts of questions come knocking, and we have to decide if we will open the door and let them in. It’s a real risk because they may look shabby and smell worse. It’s a real hassle because sometimes they come with minors in tow - questions that beget questions.
But until we open the door, pull out a chair, offer a cup, take a seat, and listen, really listen, they never go away.
And by going away, it does not mean new ones won’t arrive. It means that our homestead, our soul has grown larger to accommodate and even enjoy their presence. For in time, we realise that these questions originated from us, and the need to come back home to us, where they are welcomed and integrated into our lives.
***
I woke early today while it was dark. It’s a practice I like to began a little more than a year ago but have had trouble keeping this year. This morning I was very surprised to find how fresh and even happy I felt to be sitting, waiting for the day to arrive.
As we know, each day is packaged by us in time slots and events and do-items. But this scaffold is hardly what the day is really about. It’s the messages, impressions, interactions and questions they pose that really make our day, because these are the things that actually shape us.
Annie Dillard famously said they how we spend our days is how we spend our lives.
She is of course referring to what we fill our days with. What goes into the blocks of moments and hours. What preoccupies us and more.
But what is this life we have that we are able to spend? Or expend? What do we lose as we spend it, what do we gain as we expend it?
 |
| Julian Alden Neer |
I stood by the window, focusing on the bird calls to block out all the ubiquitous construction noises (welcome to Singapore - the island that every builds).
***
Like many parents, I struggle with how children adore their devices and spend inordinate amounts of time on it. We have done all the talking, structuring, threatening, rewarding and more… mine are not addicted by any stretch, but there is a pain in my heart to see that it’s such a default mode for them.
I admit that not being a fan of tech (and having severe worries about its effects, having being a student of philosophical positions of Ellul and Muggeridge) did propel towards a offensive-defensive game about it, with me mostly being sent to the bleaches in time out. Yes, it’s hard to win. You end up being the loser parent, who’s stuck in ‘her time’, unreal about things as they presently are… especially when your kids are plugged into a system that forms them for most of their waking hours, which uses tech with little careful thought.
Children bored after exams? Show them a movie or funny videos.
Hard to explain that concept? The entertaining explanatory Youtube vid to the rescue.
Too much to juggle? Update them via whatsapp.
Keep up with the times! Let every kid use a laptop (necessitating an entire IT dept to police their use)
I tried to understand that these are ‘digital natives’. Machine learning is fine. At one time, it’s as if all kinds of craft and trade were enhanced - when the hairdresser or the architect can simulate, calculate, postulate.
But so much is plain mindlessness now.
So this morning, a question bubbled to my consciousness: are we losing entire generations to a soul numbing, mind dulling, relationship-starving way of life?
I realise this is what bothers me about it all.
Life is such a precious gift and we squander it, spend it, expend it so foolishly.
I ask my son, “don’t you want to explore anything? how about build something” go someplace?“
The answer is invariably no.
This is a kid I took to museums, maker faires, baked with, had long conversations, read poetry and made videos with. Where did he go?
Then something else hit me.
The phone and all it promises is way too easy, and our kids are way too tired.
So there is something corroborating here: adults, who build systems.
Parents who build systems in the home usually described in two words: busy and functional.
Educators who build systems our kids embed in: competitive and crowded.
The larger societal systems our kids whiff: dangerous and difficult.
Don’t you want to hide too?
My son will say I over-psychologise. I can and do. But almost always, I am also on to something. My questions are trying to serve me.
At this point, I wonder then if my children are really media literate? What am I modeling with my use of tech? How else can I build a family culture that really serves the generation entrusted to me? Is there a rallying call here for parents to arise to intercede and take back lost ground? Should we push back and get schools to really examine their methodologies?
It’s a big question. I just made a cup of coffee.
What question is knocking on your door?
notes:
Annie Dillard - American author, famous for her powerful nature prose. Quotable: "A schedule defends from chaos and whim."
Jacques Ellul - French philosopher and aly theologian, Quotable: "The goal of modern propaganda is no longer to transform opinion but to arouse an active and mythical belief."
Malcolm Muggeridge - British journalist and social critic. Quotable: "Every happening, great and small, is a parable whereby God speaks to us, and the art of life is to get the message."
